Lost Recap Season 6, Episode 8 "Recon" by Jeff Bond

I have been writing LOST episode recap blogs on my own for years now. Posting them everywhere from my large email friend-base to MYSPACE, to Lost board websites, to FACEBOOK, to the blog site's of other friendly 'Losties'. This season I am honored to be posting the remaining recaps EXCLUSIVELY for Cultural Compulsive Disorder!!! Join me there each week for my futile Lost TV show ramblings, but tune in daily, no....hourly, for an endless array of movie, TV, music, comic book, fashion, and general geek-dom that Mr. Mike D provides. Take a moment right now to make C.C.D one of your favorites, and please become a follower of the blog. Just click follow over on the right hand side, sign in using one of the accounts provided (Google, AOL IM, Yahoo, etc) and watch your picture pop up. Comments are also appreciated...

Let's get involved here, peoples!!! So here... we... go!!!

Flash Sideways. Ford-X is in bed with a skank and he's 'unbelievable'. Was there ever any doubt, ladies? Skank tells Ford-X that he's going to be late for his 9:00 appointment because it's already 8:42 (Locke's #,Kwon's #....wink!). Ford-X jumps up and collects his things, including a briefcase which, in it's usual 'Sawyer Con' fashion errupts on the bed exposing bundles of dough. Ford-X begins spouting on with what sounds like what we've grown to know as his usual con but the skank is on to him. Her husband (is he important?!) is a con-man and she's familiar with the routine. Except this isn't a con, Ford-X reveals. It's a sting to catch that very husband.....and the place is surrounded by cops. All Ford-X needs to do is vocalize the safe word and the cops will come sweeping in. So he does:

"LeFleur." (haha)

Cops barge in lead by Ford-X's partner Miles-X! Ford-X is a "...damn cop!" You'll remember, these partner's had doppelganger's trapped in the island's 1970s incarnation in Universe 1.0 who were sheriff and deputy, heads of security within the DHARMA Initiative, before the 'Incident' shook things up. Any chance things that happened on the island to each candidate are directly affecting this new universe! What say you!?

At the precinct, Ford-X is cold calling the homes of Anthony Coopers looking for the man who conned his parents when he was 9 years old. Same same aaaaand same! Cooper-X we might assume is the father of John Locke-X in this universe as well, since we saw them, together, in a photo a few weeks ago posted at Locke-X's desk. Miles-X arrives and asks who 'Anthony Cooper' is. Ford-X lies and says he's an old friend who is working on Lakers' tickets for him. Miles-X wonders if they bumped into each other in Palm Springs, the trip Ford-X was supposedly on in the lie he told Miles-X to cover up his trip to Sydney Australia. Ford-X is caught in a lie and is not very good, it seems, at keeping his lies straight. Nevertheless, Miles-X has 'set up' Ford-X on a date with a friend whom works with his dad at the museum. Miles-X's dad, Pierre Chang-X is alive and well, and working at a museum. (I infer) Ford-X isn't keen on the blind date idea and suggests Miles-X go on the date. Miles-X reminds Ford-X that he already has a girlfriend. (Is SHE important?) Who's Miles-X's girlfriend? Is it another cool cameo? I'll guess........Ana Lucia. Police officer from a different department. What's your guess? Winner gets a lollipop!

Miles-X wonders aloud if Ford-X wants to '...die alone'. (.....as in 'live together, die alone'...wink!) Ford-X covers up for a few more lies and Miles-X notices his demeanor and flat out asks '...are you lying to me man?" Ford-X doesn't exactly lie this time when he responds "Why the hell WOULD I lie?" This has all left me thinking.....what a AWFUL liar this incarnation of Ford is.

Next we see Ford-X arrive at a bar/restaurant looking dapper. A quick call to Miles-X to remind him what his date looks like and we're introduced to the only redhead at the bar......archaeologist Charlotte-X!! (Strange twist) Flirting over dinner about their work ensues, Ford-X asks if she's the kind of archaeologist comparative to Indiana Jones. She answers affirmatively which leads Ford-X to wonder aloud where her 'whip' is? (kinky) Charlotte-X doesn't look so much like Rocky Dennis from 'Mask' in this universe. She wonders when and how Ford-X decided to be a cop and after another one of his lines, it's revealed that he came to a crossroads in his life where he could have become a cop or a criminal and chose this future. A smile and a wink later and Ford-X is in bed again and this time he's just as 'unbelievable' I'm sure. Even if Charlotte-X hasn't brought her whip. (I wish...I liked these 2 together.) Ford-X gets up to get Charlotte-X some water and she goes to borrow a t-shirt from his drawer. I'm sure I'm mistaken, but she appears to me to be looking for more than just a t-shirt. More like she's on a mission. Sure enough, she finds a binder in which Ford-X has been keeping clippings and photos regarding the deaths of his family caused when he was 9. Ford-X catches her snooping and is furious....tossing her out on her ear. Get to steppin', triflin' ho!

Back at the precinct, Ford-X is punching the clock for another day workin' the grind. As he enters he bumps past, none other than, Liam Pace-X who is having trouble bailing his brother, Charlay-X, out of prison after his arrest on drug charges stemming from the hubbub on flight 815-X. Ford-X attempts to help out but, that "....ain't (his) department". Enter Miles-X who's heated and drags Ford-X into the locker room for questioning. Miles-X ran Ford-X's credit cards and the charges point to a trip to Sydney rather than one to Palm Springs as he'd detailed. Ford-X is frustrated and decides it's none of Miles-X's beeswax. For reals, Jimmy! Get that bitch in check! Miles-X decides the lying has disrupted their partnership and he's going to diffuse it. Ford-X takes the final bit of frustration out on the locker room mirror, breaking it with his fist. (There's those Flash Sideway's MIRRORS you were hinting at last week, Jason.)

Ford-X is back at his apartment, cooking frozen meals and watching reruns of 'Little House on the Prairie'. On it, Pa is reassuring,his daughter, Laura Ingals that she can't spend her whole life worrying about her when or how her parents will die. Life is about laughing and loving each other and living for today. Anyway, when people die, they aren't gone for good they live on in memories until we can see them again. All this strikes a nerve with Ford-X who hightails it over to Charlotte-X's apartment with a sunflower and a six-pack from his fridge. Charlotte-X is NOT having the Mr. Niceguy routine and sends our boy packin'. Ford-X, saddened by his attempt leaves the sunflower at her doorsteps and trudges back home.

Next we see Ford-X waiting by the curb in his car for Miles-X. He reveals the whole deal to him. The story we've all grown accustomed to 'bout HIS pa being conned and losing all his money and taking both the lives of his wife, Ford-X's mother, and his own. Changing Ford-X's life forever and sending him on a vengeful wild goose chase after 'Anthony Cooper-X' who he will kill for his troubles. Miles-X wonders why this is the first he's hearing of all this and Ford-X responds that he knows Miles-X would try to talk him out of all of this. One would infer that Ford-X is revealing this all now because he's ready to be talked OUT of it all. No time for hugs and kisses because a runaway car has just smashed into theirs. The perp flees the scene with Ford-X and Miles-X hot on her trail. Ford-X backs her down a dead end street and removes her hood to reveal.......Kate-X! "Son of a Bitch!" Flash Sideways was jam packed with cameos: Kate, Miles, Charlotte, Liam.....plus Pierre and Charlay by way of names being dropped.

To the island........WhoooooOOOosh (NOTE: we're whooshing again with the sound I've attributed to 'Team Jacob' rather than the evil roller coaster sounds of 'Team Smoke Thing')

James is boiling tea, at Creepy Claire's bird nest, for the injured Jin whom, you'll recall, busted his leg open like a bloodied hamhock in one of Crazy Claire's polar bear traps. Jin awakens and asks James where 'Locke' and Claire have gone. He insists they get out of there before those two return. James admits he's 'WITH Locke' to which Jin reveals that ain't REALLY Locke. We know and James knows too, but the guy who ain't Locke is gonna get them off the island. Jin won't go anywhere because there's a chance Sun is somewhere on the island. (sweet) James makes a heartwarming promise that they won't leave without Sun. (sweeter) Seems as though James is recruiting for HIS team as well. Any chance they had to sneak off before 'Locke' and Claire return has been dashed because "theeeeey're baaaaAAAaaack!" Smoke Monster/Locke has returned to the crazy nest with his new disciples in tow. Kate, Soulless Sayid and Kooky Claire amongst them.

Back from commercial break, Creepy Claire is packing the best of her trash collection for a move. She stops to peer in on her make-shift ALF doll that has taken the place of baby Aaron in her new life. Kate intrudes and has the ONLY look of disgust for what she sees. "It's all I had," Crazy Claire offers, referring to her creepy cu-pie doll. Outside the nest. Smoke Monster/Locke rallies his troops. He announces that he'll make himself 'available for questions' (thanks, 'cause unlike these rubes, I gots plenty of questions,buddy.) Right now they gotta keep moving, though. (figures!) That doesn't stop flight attendant turned 'Other' Cindy from asking what happened to those left behind at the temple. Smoke Monster/Locke is forthright with her.....'The Black Smoke killed them" (fair enough!) Children Zack & Emma are shown visibly shaken by this revelation. Kooky Claire holds Kate's hand. Quick pan to Soulless Sayid who has no reaction. Somebody check if he is even breathing, please. Does he have a pulse? Creep. The team heads out. James catches up with Kate and inquires about Jack, Hurley and the rest(?).....aww he cares. Kate reassures him that they made it out of the temple. She doesn't know about Miles, however. Kate now asks if James is WITH 'Locke' and he replies that he 'ain't WITH nobody'. Good news Kate (and you too, ladies!) James is single! They catch up with the rest of the group. Smoke Monster/Locke announces they will stop and rest up. That they might be camped out for a few days. James takes umbrage with that. 'I thought you said we're getting OFF this rock," James demands. Smoke Monster/Locke insists they ARE but asks to speak to James in private. "I wish you hadn't interrupted me," Smoke Monster/Locke scolds. James "forgot his manners". (Haha I love this guy). Smoke Monster/Locke forgives him. James wants to know how he saved the peeps at the temple from the 'Smoke Thang'. He didn't, of course. He IS the 'Smoke Thang'. There you have it. The smokes outta the bag! I love the name Smoke Thang, by the way. It's a keeper! Smoke Thang gave the others an opportunity to leave peacefully and they didn't take it. He explains that the others are convinced that they are protecting the island from him, but all he wants is to leave. "Kill or be Killed," he announces......and he don't wanna be killed. This begs the question,'He CAN be killed!?'

Smoke Thang takes James to where the catamaran is docked. He shows James the island across the way, Hydra island. Smoke Thang asserts that passengers from the Ajira flight are camped out there. He wants James to run a 'recon' mission infiltrating their group and finding out whatever he can about them. He's 'confident' James can handle it because he considers James the "best liar (he) knows". Once he finds out everything he can, they will all 'fly' off the island. Whew....now...... James is alone on Hydra Island. In the zoo to be exact. He reminisces over the cages he and Kate shared. The first time they fucked! He even finds the dress Kate was forced to wear inorder to seduce him. Aaaah, Those were the days.

At Camp Smoke Thang, Kate sits down next to Soulless Sayid to ask a few preguntas but he's just plain out of it. Just then, Crazy Claire attacks Kate at knife point. A brief struggle on the ground is further proof Sayid is LOST because he won't even look in their direction let alone lift a finger to aide Kate. (....or help Kooky Claire extract vengeance for that matter) Smoke Thang soon intercedes. Five fingers to Creepy Claire's grill proves Smoke Thang's pimp hand is VERY strong. Crackow! This dude's got all his ho'es in check. He made ME feel that shit. Bitch settle down! This is completely inappropriate," he disarms. You're tellin' me?! 'Inappropriate' is DEFINITELY the word.

Back on Hydra Island, the Ajira plane seems to be intact sitting on the man made beach runway where it was landed safely by pilot Frank Lapidus. There's an old campfire, some clothes and
supplies strewn around....oh yeah, and a pile of bodies. (You saw that chick with half her head blown off!? Sheesh.) Footsteps in the woods reveal a sole survivor who looks like Tina Fey's unbathed aunt. She alerts James that all the others were massacred while she was out gathering fire wood. She returned and piled them all up so they wouldn't rot in the island sun. She's got tons of questions, though. She thanks God when James tells her they aren't alone, but James is quick to insist "God ain't got nothin' to do with it." That line seemed directly pointed toward us fans who have been worried as of late that this show might wind up having revelations heavily routed in biblical lore. Looks like James' words may imply otherwise....or at least it will be rooted in the devil, more than in God.

Back to Camp Smoke Thang, 'Locke' apologizes to a visibly shaken Kate. He explains that HE told Crazy Claire the 'others' had Aaron. People sometimes need somebody to hate. Hate is very powerful. HE GAVE creepy Claire someone to hate, but the truth brought out her anger. Kate remarks that this is all "very insightful for a dead man". She changes topic. Wants to know where James is. Smoke Thang will SHOW her.

Over near Ajira, new bitch (Zoe) can't stop asking questions. Seems as though SHE'S the one on the Recon mission. Says she was on Ajira bound for Guam, where her boyfriend is. James ain't buyin' it. Pistols are drawn, but James is outgunned by Zoe's crew, led by the kid from 80s sitcom 'Kate & Allie' (good eye Bri) who take him to the docks at rifle point....to the submarine!

Back over at island numero uno, Smoke Thang arrives at the shore with Kate and explains where James is. She injects that he could have just TOLD her where James was, but Smoke Thang is more interested in getting her alone to discuss some things. He insists he isn't a 'dead man'. He knows how Kate is feeling because he once had a crazy mother too. One who caused him great 'growing pains'. Problems he's still trying to work through. My main question here is: Are these truly Smoke Thing's memories or his he being
consumed by the memories of the real Locke, the man whose body he now inhabits. By what means... I have no clue. Kate's not sure where this is all going but Smoke Thang clears things up by letting her know that now Aaron has a crazy mom too now. Get it? Got it! Good.

Aboard the sub, James is led at gunpoint past a double padlocked door. "What's behind the door," we insist James inquires! He does, but he/we ain't getting any answers any time soon. He's led further inside to the office of the crews leader, Charles Widmore! James knows who he is....the asshole that wasted a whole season sending a freighter full of jerkoffs just to give us Miles. Next time send a parachute! James asserts that they were sent by Widmore him to KILL them all. Widmore rebuts that James knows 'very little'. James doesn't believe him and he cuts to the chase. He reveals to Widmore that he was sent to Hydra Island on a recon mission by 'Locke' who's dead (We know!!....BUT, listen, he's not Locke...we know...WE ALL KNOW!!!) James has a deal for him though. James will return to 'Locke' and tell him the coast is clear in order to lure 'Locke' there so that Widmore can kill him. They both smile and Widmore asks what James wants in exchange. He's got a two point plan: 1) His people don't get 'touched' (watch your words, dummy!) 2) They get safe passage off of the island. Seems James has turned on his Smokey leader. Widmore and James shake on it, they both assert that the other can't be trusted. So it seems both of them have just made a deal with a fool. Widmore, even, never
really laid out if Smoke Thing's death was really what he was interested in, and they part ways.

And at Camp Smoke Thang, Kate is startled when an apologetic yet still Kooky Claire sneaks up on her. Crazy Claire accepts that Kate cares about she and Aaron. Yeah, just keep an eye on yer rifle when your huggin' this bi-polar bear, umm'K?

Back to James who arrives back on island #1 to report back to Smoke Thang. James has figured out that Smokey didn't care much for knowing what the leftover passengers of the Ajira flight were up to.... but he let's him know that they're all dead just in case. He tells Smokes that Widmore and his crew have arrived, a name Smoke Thang is obviously familiar with. James basically spills the rest of the truth about what he told Widmore and what he saw
there. He inserts that Team Smoke Thang can now change their plan and catch them with their pants down. Oh, and he left out 1 minor thing, just the part in which he has now hedged his bets... James has just negotiated safe return from the island with both parties no matter who wins this next big altercation. If that IS indeed what this all is. I'm grasping at more than a few straws here when I theorize that there is only really 2 sides to this war...Jacob's or Smoke Thang's side. If that's true, does Widmore's team stand a chance without a mystical being like Smokey or Jacob at the helm? One would assume that he'd have to dissolve his crew into either Jacob or Smoke Thang's side of the battle. NOW that being said, we know Jacob stressed an evil man was coming to the island soon (Widmore!) That, coupled with the thought that he probably wouldn't be caught dead on the team with Ben, who's always really been on Team Jacob, despite his evil ways...and it's safe to say Widmore won't be on that team, unless he does some serious attitude adjusting. I'd say Smokey probably knew full well that Widmore and his crew have arrived...because he summoned him there to help him escape. That would mean that sending James there was just another long con, trying to deduced what side of the scale James was truly on. If that's the case, did he pass? Did he fail? Am I a raving lunatic (umm yes)

Finally, at Camp Smoke Thang, it's night time and Kate warms herself by the fire. James approaches and ask what's for dinner "rabbit!" (Of course! The DHARMA kind? Eating test rabbits does this cause some of all these unexplainable unnaturalness in the castaways....now I'm REALLY reaching...I know) James fills Kate in on the truth about what's going on with Smoke Thang and Widmore (the truth as he knows it) He reassures her that he's not on either side. "Let them fight it out," he stresses, "and while their hands are full of each other, YOU and ME are getting off this island!" (vomit at team James/Kate) Shared smiles. Kate wonders who'll fly the plane. No need when they'll be taking the sub!


Things I'm pondering. Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

• Miles-X is alive and well in Universe-X. Does he have the ability to channel the dead in this universe as well?
• Did Chang-X and his family ever go to the island under the DHARMA Iniatiave? If so, when did they leave? Is it related to the issues that made Roger 'Uncle Rico' Linus-X leave with Ben-X? Will the Flash Sideways ever be fully explained or does it not even matter in the grand scheme of things?! Does this Dr. Chang still have both his hands?
• Sexy recap reader, Briana, wondered (asked me) why Ford-X let Kate-X go in the airport elevator in 'LA-X' if he was a cop all that time, when he seemed pretty keen that something criminal was go on with her. Thanks Bri, now you got me pondering this too.
• What, or more importantly WHO, is being kept behind that door. Last week I hoped any combination of Desmond, Penny and family were aboard the sub with Charles Widmore. Could one of them be behind door number one? Here's to hoping! What/Ẁho is your guess?

A fun tale this week, no? No huge revelations but a lot of preparations and set ups for the big war that's about to come. Or so I think...but what do I know? Much like I feel in the New York City subway system, week after week, I just find myself..........................LOST!

- JB